Posted by: Miriam | 27/11/2010

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I’ve been letting this one stew for a little while. I havent been able to put my finger on exactly what I wanted to write about. My thoughts keep hopping around when I try to pin them down.

Its become harder and harder not to ride my bike. Or to ignore all my friends when they ride and to fight the sadness I feel at races. I want to be on my bike. I’ve definitely come to realize that cycling is a huge part of what defines me. Of what I have chosen to define myself as – a cyclist. Not even as a racer, but as a person who loves bikes and all they stand for.

My next doctor’s appointment is the 2nd. I should get the big black das boot off, and get a smaller more maneuverable brace. Then the real work comes, physical therapy. The healing part has been the easy part (physically at least, probably not mentally). The PT will hurt. I already got a taste of this while at the gym. But I am looking forward to this step. Maybe not the pain, but the moving forward with the recovery process. I am the kind of person who needs (at least) a goal. Something to work towards, lately it has been a holding process while my bones healed. But this next step (gods, these puns aren’t quite intended, but yet I cant help myself!) is something I can do, I can focus on, I can do it well, and I will kick PT’s ass.

I was talking with my friend Lisa the other day. We were talking about riding and racing, I was, as per the norm, lamenting the fact that I will be weak and imbalanced and can’t even ride my bike yet. She had a great comment, that I get to be whatever kind of racer I want. I get to choose what kind of racer I want to be. Right now I am kind of a blank slate physically. What kind of racing do I want to do? Sprinting? Climbing? Road racing? Mountain biking? Cross (chances are lowest here, well aside from sprinting)? I want to try endurance mountain races. 50 milers, 100k, 12 hour races and such. I’ve never done any thing that long before, but I want to try. I have not always had speed (frequently, in fact) but I have always had endurance. So lets put my endurance to the test and see what happens.

And damn am I looking forward to walking with out this boot, riding, and finally getting my strength back.

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